Somewhere Along The Line

I saw Morrissey on Saturday.


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I believe I spent the night standing in a puddle of what used to be my ovaries.

There was a fight that lasted about 10 minutes when he flung his shirt off into the crowd.

I think I would have cried if I touched him.




I'm making me a shirt that says "MOZ-lim"
a play on "Muslim."

GHEY!!!!!!!!!!!

I would want to be Tom Gable. Because he is amazing.

It would probably HAVE to be a dark comedy, but a comedy none the less. I would love to live in a romance, but that's just not how it goes.

I'd want Zach Braff to play my character.
George Clooney to play my best friend.
The girl who plays Juno as my sister.
Woody Allen to play Moultar.


thats about it.

Sometimes, when you cry real hard, without making a sound, you get a headache.

Everyone around me is dieing. Faster than most people do.

I wish I could be some kind of sponge and soak up all of the dieing. They all deserve to live.

My mother who breaks her back and won't open her mouth. My sister who is falling apart right before my eyes and I can't do anything about it.

The hardest part is that I can't say I love them more than anything.

The hardest part is how I want to fall back in Your arms and bathe in Your Holy Waters, but I can't. Not yet.

I wish I was righteous, I wish I was brave enough to tell them, I wish I was a better person.

My biggest wish of all, though, is I wish that you would open Your omnipotent eyes and see with them who deserves to suffer and who doesn't.

And if you don't know this, then what do you know?

Yesterday was just a precursor to how awful today has been so far and will continue to be.

Fuck my life.

Yesterday, was the Georgian/Fear Of Lipstick/The Asthmatics! show. So Mimo and I get ready and leave. She asked me to pick up her friend. I don't ever have a problem bringing more people to shows. Seriously, I enjoy it. I didn't even mind that this kid lived on the outskirts of town. So we had to get on the high way and go around the city to get to his place. The thing that sucks is that I missed the fork exit that will keep us in the city. So I ended up driving into Merrimack. Turning around. Finally getting this kid. Go to the address posted on the myspace. It's the wrong address. Katie calls and tells me the right address. I get there, and I've missed Georgian and Fear Of Lipstick.

I have nightmares about this kind of thing.

So I get home. And get yelled at, because my mom doesn't buy it that we were at a show.

WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE DOING?

And I get a lecture about lying. The funny thing is that she told my dad we were at the Salem Mall. Whatever.

OH. And to add to all of this, THE MAIL MAN NEVER SHOWED UP! I didn't get my movie and NetFlix said they shipped it.

And this morning as I'm dressing to get to my Literature and Film final, I get yelled at about how I've been distracting Mimo from getting her work done. Yeah, I've been at school and work for the last 2 weeks. It's the fucking fact that she's been working at the Pizza Place that's been keeping her from doing her work. No no no. Everything is my fault. They can do no wrong.

THEN MY FUCKING CAR WOULDN'T START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Piece of shit life. THIS IS BLOODY RIDICULOUS!

I got to my final on time and the entire ride to school I was being bitched at.

Thankfully the subject was film, or else I probably would have failed. I was so angry and flustered about yesterday and today I forgot half of my shot terminology.

Last day of school tomorrow.

FUCKING HELL.

This summer better be good. Make the effort, you assholes. Call me.

That warms the frialator. Some kid I know walked into the pizza place. I think his name is Jake.

Gah.

I'm in the middle of watching the Orphanage. Its by the same director who did Pans Labyrinth.

I left the pizza place in a huff just now. Oh well. Back to my records and films. Then I'm hitting the books because I've a bit of psychology to wrap up. 8 more days and we're done for the year. Its hard to believe that I've only a year before I'm done with this shit. I'm so down. All of my friends I actually hung around with are graduating this year. I guess its my job now to make next year a well disaster for the faculty and staff.

Looking forward to that bit.

Vampires, 100%. They're sexy, cool, confident, and charming. A Nosfuratic romance, Brilliant!

So, I don't know if every where else is like this but in Manchester (NH) through your academic career you look forward to one thing (besides graduation), watching the video where you witness a live birth...

No that's not the exciting part! You knob!

The exciting part is when they reverse the tape.


Bloody waste of time.

What a let down.





At least I've got The Boosh.

And Weezer.

God, I smell awful.



I can't sleep.


Giant spider crawled by.


I'm freaking out!

You and headaches keep me up all night.

How's it going? It's been well over a year I believe.

My, how the world has changed.

A few things that have changed in my life, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst, are:

1. Cameron and I split badly, I don't remember if I ever caught you up on that before I disappeared.

2. I got a job at Hot Topic back in November, and am still there. I was EOM in February, as well as DEOM.

3. I've made tons of new friends, and I've grown apart from a few good ones.

4. I'm almost done with my Junior year in HS.

5. I met George, back in August, and he's one of my closest friends. We plan on moving to Montreal together, where he'll open a bar and I'll be going to film school.

6. I discovered Flight Of The Conchords, and through them discovered Summer Heights High, and THE MIGHTY BOOSH.

7. I have a bit of a thing for Julian Barratt of The Mighty Boosh.

8. Moultar is one of my besties.

9. I've gotten a hell of a lot more involved in the Manchester Music Scene.

10. I'm a meaner more aggressive person now.

In minor details, I'm a bit more careful who I hand my heart off to. I'm the best friend you could ever hope for. My Jaw hangs loose and words just fly out, but I back up what I say. No doubt. I'm always ready to share my opinion.

Most importantly, I hate the new music that is being made and distributed.

It's just as deadly as cocaine, in regards to the brain.

I Have Changed.

... so fucking far from here.

I feel so Goddamn jealous and sick. Everyone who was ever ok with me isnt anymore. Everyone fucking hates me. I'm obnoxious. I know in my heart that no one is going to read this. I feel like putting a fucking bullet in my own head. Thanks alot, friends, for listening and caring. Assholes.

... Just Happens To Be Myself.

Honest to GOD. Wow. My life sucks, and you know why? I do it to myself. How? I can't keep my mouth shut, there's always something for me to say. And everything that comes out of my mouth is unwelcome. Human ears can't stand the sound of my voice. Even when I sing, I have the weirdest singing voice. And I am sure that the cat is getting sick to death of hearing me ramble.

So I've always felt this way. I've always been cut off. I thought it was because most of what I have to say is easily uninteresting.

And nothing is ever important enough for anyone to care.

Or feel.

And that's why I've always been shut up. I guess I just felt to much. And you know what? I don't think I want to anymore. I'm sick of having my heart broken and just bowing out with all the grace in the world. I'm sick of myself.

And I'm Sure My Heart Is Sick Of Me Too.

I've promised not to feel unless it is absolutley nessasary.

Which is great, because now I won't have to worry about tears making my flawless foundation job streak. I've worked too hard to perfect it.

So, yeah, I think I'm the biggest Bitch I know. And will continue to know.

But typing this up, I don't know just how I feel. For the past few days, I've been pretty apathetic. I don't even know wether or not I'm hungry anymore. I could feed on my own emotions until I get a cookie or something, and then realize just how empty I am.

I kinda like it, minus the dizzy spells due to my anemia. But I can cure that with pills.

Everything can be cured with pills now a days. Even I can be made to shut up with the help of PILLS!

Don't you just love how far the human race has progressed? We can drug our selves to save our selves, in more than one way.

I'm of course sXe. So No Drugs Here. But I can't help but look at things that way. Everything is so artificial now, that people don't even feel like they used to. I want the old time movies, where the girl and the guy always get together in the end. Bring back the bright sound.

Goddamn Casablanca. Goddamn The Mute Button. And Goddamn Pop Music.

Indeed it is Cam.

I'm in love with that boy.

And he's single.

If you guys have been behind on my life (i have been too, dont worry) i met him at the AFI show.

And he said he's going to Warped Tour naked.

<3

Tis, Thank You Very Much.

:).

It's raining so bad here in Durham... I LOVE IT!

It Feels So Void.

But I Loooove My Icon.

So I hurt huuurt huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurt.

AFI is wow... just wow.... i didn't cry at the show , but I doubt you will ever be able tp understand all the emotions that went through me yesterday.

Nice
Rad
Nervous
Giddy
Loved
A Whole
Part of Something
HOME.

AFI are my Gods.

Check out my blog on MySpace for more.... To Touch A God...Or Four.

If you haven't already....




GO BUY DECEMBERUNDERGROUND
YOU WONT REGRET IT.

'TIS FUCKING AMAZING!

My Mad Lib

Amusement Parks

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer
Cheese. When you get there, you can rent a
Cereal and go for a swim. And there are lots of
Ugly things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog on
a/an Fatboy with mustard, relish, and fatboys
on it. Then you can have a buttered ear of house with a
nice big slice of watermelon and a big bottle of
cold SODA!. When you are full, it's time to go on the
roller coaster, which should settle your feet.
Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em which has little
arms, that you drive and run into other eyeses,
and the Merry-Go-Round where you can sit on a big shit
and try to grab the gold son as you ride past.

Sorry, that was just too good not to post. I love the last line.